· [ ] · Thơ của NguoiVN, Những vần thơ bất hủ :)

[NguoiVN]

I cut my hair myself and watched them falling down, what a feeling, I sensed the rejuvenation running through the body and it reactivated all my sleeping nerves. This was the second times I decided to shave my head. The first one I tried was about a year ago. The experience I got was hard to explain, words seemed worthless. Just the emotion and the illusion of leaving part of my unwanted history behind, I shaved my head to get a new look, to become a new person. I shaved my head myself and through the experience I figured out my lost spirit. There, you closed your eyes and let the shaver led the way, you sensed your hair dropping on the floor, suddenly you grew eyes everywhere, and you felt like you saw things you’ve not seen before. You felt you experienced dimensions. You just felt it, the sensation of the inner world. And people asked me why I destroyed my look. I looked them in the eyes and smiled. Only those who did what I've just done knew the answer why, we wanted the answer, the feeling but we, human were too hesitated to take necessary steps. I shaved my head and I knew I would do it again several times later during my life. It was my own philosophy, something I kept for myself; I said it was a secret. It happened simultaneously and harmony with nature. I did it; the ceremony was devoted to teach myself the art of patience and commitment to the work that I was pursuing. I lifted it to the next level; I moved it toward the point of simple judgment. Today I shaved my head again to reborn, reeducated myself once more time. Today I felt alive. The fear, the feeling of what was waiting ahead or the failure to shave my head myself, I recognized the truth laying in fear and frustration. All of us, even the heroes spend our day living in defeat until we did something. If we wanted something to happen, new things must be done. Each day I stood on the string hanging across the fire sea, below me was hell. In front of me was future and myth. I knew I was eaten by my angers and cries for long. I hold inside the gift, the miracle, the power but also my greatest doubt. I’ve been feeding the doubt and neglecting the task for too long. No more excuses. I was born to do what I was born to do. I knew it was my mission.

Bài viết này được sửa chữa mông má bởi NguoiVN: Dec 30 2005, 11:58 AM

[NguoiVN]

Oh baby, I need a rest
Doing, dreaming, I so imagine
I so masturbate, cause I so want more
Enough, there aren’t enough, never enough
In this road to unhappiness
I, through wet dream
Wild, angry, mad
I so, need rest
So I ask
For tomorrow from yesterday
I so don't know today
Who am I?
More more and more
So I so I
I write a line with types of scripts
who cares
I'm not there
Have been thought and said
Precisely the same way
So I masturbate
More more and more
Really at, reach there
Yet yet, no no
Past, present or future
I fall out from no where
Not a question of knowing
I do, as it is fear, the knowing
Who am I? Who are you?
I sing or shout
That moment in this moment
Reason
Time is to be sent, spent
Can I return to this memory?
Illusion of present, present
So I, I masturbate
I want to see God
This moment, the balance
The fraction of so I, I so moment
Then, you see, taste, and touch
smelling me
You, increasing as the thing is in motion
Approaching in its passing
I am and you are
So I constantly ask
For
Who am I
Between lines I draw
The unknown

Decota # 2

the misery
please help me
babe
as it was eaten me inside
things i could not dare to cry
masturbation
the object is love, but the subject is sin
the spin of what to be called the hint
from God
God me, God you
oh God
I so need masturbation
it's fucking boring
you people
why don't just stop talking
QG #1
It' late at night, I cannot sleep
So many thoughts right now I keep
The dreadful silent makes me shiver
The darkness also sends a quiver
Right this now, I'm a running man
Right from the start, Hiding from my emotion
I fear that love will make me blind
I'm tired of being in this situation
Right from the start, I miss you
Don't play with my heart
For a running man like me
The feelings haunt me day by day
No one know I stay up crying
No one knows my soul is dying
Cause I'm a running man, I'm a running man
What do I seek? When will this end
Where is love when I need it most?
Yet, I'm home again but I feel like such a ghost
For once again, you came back to my heart
Right at this now, I'm a running man

Conversation with Trinh Cong Son

Which dust has transmigrated to me
For one day I waken from dust
Oh, what a sublime dust!
For one fate running
Which dust has transmigrated to me
For sometime I will become dust
Oh, what a weary dust!
For those unallayed grief cried
Many years I was flesh and blood
For one day with the snow
The languishing leaves fell down
God, one hundred years only for today!

[NguoiVN]

I also said I had purpose
Crossing the sea, rocking the wind
facing fire, for the search of that very first thought
Of every road leading me to madness
to the unknown wishing Hell
the personal me within
I’m asking for more
in the crashing of pressure
to achieve one greatest pleasure
loneliness, hell of emotion
Greatness, heaven under the sun
yelling within silence
Grieving inside happy moment
Experience the difference
Distance of Enlightening
Again, to the me within
within and within
the cover of a fruit
the should I wish I could
mood of anxiety
voice of fury
dream in peace
rest in me
I wish I wish
wishing in violence
asking but giving no reason
the moment within
carving within
dying within
within and within
lonesomeness
to the within
within lonesomeness
tearing out confusion
the bubble of allusion
I had a conclusion
extrusive force of life
in the given circle of trust
exaggerating the must
deceiving my own purpose
And the rhythm of anger
adding the flavor of dashing
in the process of defining the missing
the link of purpose
to the glory of perfection
what is good in that walk
Addicting to power
Lying repeatedly
Buying ticket to pass the Satan’s gate
the sign of me
the within, within and within
inner power, inner sin
to the me, only me
the greatest goddess
Gross
madness
He's lonely
clickin on the teeth
tickin and ticking
sound of his own movin
chewing nails
sticking gum
sucking thumb
Drawin to some conclusion
to the me, the only me
sign of sickness
looking or observing
dying or breathin
Drinking or vomitin
in or out
up or down
beginin or ending
take a look
you or me
who is he?
hello
then
I may want to ask you to count
within me
is it the first time
or is it not
is it the same old rhythm
or it is not
should I make something different
see
they continue talking
while walkin
see
he continues typin
while frozenin
Does it make a difference
cuz
People think and act differently.
Silence for he to think
And to do what
Where is life leading him
When future is covered
With a blanket
And he could just barely see
It’s me
Opened and closed his eyes
A long silence falls
Like a deep breath
his dim recollection
Darkness is all over
The heart is weaker
his soul is silver
It's me
I waited here for an answer
Come from the source within
Meaning of wrong acts
Predicting future
Find my blue print
Another day has passed away
Findin myself return to the same old way
And again darkness is all over
The heart is weaker
I continue waiting here for one answer
From within
Meaning of life
His collecting
of teeth

[NguoiVN]

hahaha I dare you to read
you fuckin stupid
smilin while cryin
the anger is freezing
talkless, fuckless, suckless
the cow has a hat on his head
I have a horn on mine
the bird has winds on his feather
I gave him a drink
You have to drink wine
while eating fish
You gotta be drunk
while shitting
I had nothing
no winds
oh but I had a horn
and I did give a cow
or a birdie a drink
Yesterday I offered the goat
a meal
Now he comes everyday
asking for food
people said he is good
quite powerful
they said he is western
Remembered I gave him food
without me he must be found
dead already
but I think I have nothin
And people come and asked me
for shits

[NguoiVN]

Today I’m hungry for a kiss
Kiss ass, I count one, two, and three…
Where are you, why don’t you kiss with me?
Together, we kiss some asses
Kiss ass, I’ve kissed so many
But still wondered
How many more I can kiss
Fat ass, small ass
They are just asses, so let kiss
But you said, you don’t feel like
You are going to do it
O.K, just do some practice
Here’s my ass, why don’t you kiss
Where is yours, so I can kiss
Kissin asses
And there is things to ask
Just, just a fast old way
Proven to make things your way
Oh, how could you master that fast?
Now, you want more asses
My friend, you already loved kissing
Ass
pissed and kissed
Life is that simple, just to kiss asses
pissed
You said, and I laughed
Sure, it’s just ass
Why don’t we just kiss?
And one two three
Kiss ass, my friend
Life, it’s just that easy

[NguoiVN]

Slowly I took out the slip-skin of my grape. I looked at it for a while and used my fingers to move it around. I squeezed it a little bit and licked the juice. It was a human thing; I threw the grape into my mouth and felt its sweet taste. It tasted good. I did not want to eat this grape because it was the last one I got. So, I took it out and looked at it again one more time. I then sucked the seeds out of the grape. I crushed them in my mouth and tried their bitterness. I licked my lips to make them wet and looked at the fan moving. Immediately I saw a lizard. It was starring at the light. I observed the lizard for long. We, both at ease, having nothing to do; we stoned ourselves. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth wide. My lips were dry till the point I had the feeling that they were completely gone.
As I was here, and the lizard up on the ceiling, the phone rang and I picked it up.
“Hey”
“Hey, how is everything going?”
“Nothing new”
“Did you just call me?”
“Yeah, I felt so bored”
“You want to go to a gay club with me?”
“What the hell?”
“I want to see how the lesbian and gay have fun” She laughed.
“Yeah, you rite”
“Hahaha__”
“So, what’s up?”
“What’s up?”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m starring at myself in the mirror”
“Cool”
“It was so fucking nasty. Today I touched a cockie”
“Tell me”
“I was looking through my mama’s closet and my finger brushed up against it”
“In your Mom’s closet…”
“It was so nasty”
“What? What__”
“I was fucking screamed and ran out of the house with only my towel on. I was taking a the shower”
“So did your cockie chase after you?”
“Nope, when I came back, it’s gone”
“Wait a minute. I’m getting confused. What do you mean it’s gone?”
“The roach”
“What?”
“Man when I tell my stories you need to be paying 100% attention”
“When you said cockie, I didn’t think you meant a roach. I don’t know anyone who calls a roach a cockie. Hahaha”
“Well, I do”
“Now I do too”
“I was so fucking grossed. I could get my finger amputated”
“Hahaha__ I’m jus picturing that in my head right now. You screaming and running with a towel on.”
“How sexy__ I’m sure it would turn anybody on”
“How you scream”
“Hahaha”
“I’m thinking like how you made that weird sound?”
“You know it’s sexy”
“Now I think it’s kind of funnier than attractive”
“Do you want it to be attractive?”
“Nope, I’m just messing”
“I forgot how we started this conversation”
“Hey, I’m so proud. My ass is finally growing”
“What the fuck!”
“Hahahaha…”
“Shut up”
“At least something on my body grows unlike yer dead penis”
“What? Hey, I’m proud of my penis unlike you playing with your dildo”
“Hahahaha… I don’t touch dildo. I don’t like fake stuff, like yo and yer fake dick”
“Hahahah… Fake? I’ll show what this fake stuff can do”
“Rape”
“Hahahaha”
“Yo still giving me that dildo for my birthday right? I want a new and unopened one.”
“Hahahaha… You are funny” But a second later I sensed something wrong in her voice, so I asked.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing__ Did school open yet?”
“Yep, I’m glad I get myself out of this house by going to school. I got two jobs so I don’t have to go home.”
“I know but don’t worry. You’ll graduate soon. You’ll get yourself in college, find the one far so you can go”
“I know. I’ll go to Austin”
“Good”
“The doctor called us today and told us that mama has something inside her body and needs surgery ASAP. So the family's all worried that she might caught cancer or some shit and is dying from it.”
“Are you serious?”
“So my son of a bitch pap starts talking and lecturing her how she "deserves" this punishment and how she’s going to go to hell when she dies because she hasn’t been a ‘good’ Christian.”
“Just don’t give a fuck about it”
“I remember my pap used to hug and give me kisses on the forehead a loooooooooooooong time ago. Whatever happened to daddy's little girl? After you see ugly reality you leave your blissful fantasy. Oh, today Jamie took me into his office and apologized. Today I saw a side of him I knew was there but hadn’t come out until that moment.”
“Inside every "asshole" is a soft teddy bear.”
“I was actually like really touched he gave me a hug and um a kiss on the forehead”

“Man you sure meet a lot of mother fuckers as you go through life, but to live with one of them in your entire life is such a fucking punishment. The best thing I can do is shake it off and not let it get to me.”
“I know you are tough.”
“I can either make my own life a living hell by surrounding myself with shit or just think the best out of it and be optimistic”
“That’s something I have to learn from you”
“Damn, you know what? I hate how I grow up so fast. I feel like I’ve lived at least 20 years because of all the things life threw at me and taught me. And it’s also ironic how I still act like I’m 12”
“Just enjoy life. Don’t be like me, I don’t have a life”
” I wish I had my own life. I wish I hadn’t to please everyone. My pap is lecturing again out there. I can’t stand people that can’t ever shut the fuck up”
“What?”
“My son of a bitch pap started talking and lecturing again”
“I know, just ignore him”
“You know what fuck you people… I’m fucking hate people that elevate themselves to the status of GOD and try to "teach" their "superior" ways to others. They just a fucking idiot, they should listen to themselves talk sometime…It's quite ludicrous.”
“I know, those fucking idiots. I’m sorry for his PhD. Those fucking people gave me a nasty feeling about education. An inferior untouchable class, I’m sure in his sadistic mind that makes perfect sense and would be the perfect decision.”
“He fucking bitch, saying how he is going to sell the house and not paying for my college, even though he is paying for my bitch lazy ass cousin to go to a private school” she cried with all her anger “Don’t even try to call yourself a father, just go fucking adopt yer niece. She can get down on her knees, kiss yer ass and suck yer dick like yo want her to but I’m not bending down. Fuck this shit; I’m not going to let some charlatan try to crush my path and my dreams right in front of me. It's funny how one can live with his daughter for 17 years and still not know what kind of person she is, what things she likes, how she thinks and do. Oh I’m sure I can just go ahead and TELL him”
“Just fucking ignores him” I said.
“Men that can’t ever prove themselves worthy as men, men that can’t ever prove themselves worthy as humans, fuck yo all, as soon as I can, I’m gonna get the fuck away from yo people, for all yo do is drag people down. Just dip my head in the fucking toilet and talk to it for the same level of compassion and understanding. I didn’t think I’d ever make a conclusion like that but being with such a motherfucker of a pap has really driven me into this corner.”
“I know, just ignore him”
“I’m moving out when I go to college, no questions asked. I’m fucking hate this house, this oppression. No one should ever have to put up with the bullshit I do. It's not even human. I’m proud that I’m still alive…”

[NguoiVN]

he doesn't know how to smile
Holding things inside
His eyes felt dry
and he can't cry
but onion made tears from his eyes
yes, sometimes he has feelings of fear
who can take them out for him?
who can make him happy?
things that needed to be released
he wrote a sad song
it's a sad song
onion made tears from his eyes
he can't hide himmself
it's a sad song
and who can sing it loud and long?
he wrote a sad song
his eyes felt dry
and he can't cry
it's a sad song
who can take them out for him?
he said
if he believed in God
would God send s.o to love him?
and if he believed in love
would love send s.o to save him?
he wrote a sad song
it's a sad song to sing
it's a sad song
Do you feel the sad rhythm?
Will you sing it loud and long?
yes, it's a sad song
listen to his song in the middle of the night
and singin it loud and long
his eyes felt dry
and he just can't cry
if he believed in God
would God send s.o to love him?
and if he believed in love
would love send s.o to save him?
he wrote a sad song
it's a sad song to sing
it's a sad song
will you love him?
will you save him?
it's a sad song
he wrote a sad song

[NguoiVN]

Did you ever feel tired of bullshit? Did you ever wonder why people bullshit each other? It was so bullshit listening to your bullshit. Hey, life was full of bullshit. What was bullshit anyway? “Bullshit makes the world go round” I remembered some one told me that. Sorry that I jumped right into such a negative conclusion but I could not help it. Here, I gave you more. This shit came from another guy, not me. You read it “Why there is so much bullshit? Of course it is impossible to be sure that there is relatively more of it nowadays that at other times. There is more communication of all kinds in our time than ever before, but the proportion that is bullshit may not have increased. Without assuming that the incidence of bullshit is actually greater now, I will mention a few considerations that help to account for the fact that it is currently so great. Bullshit is unavoidable whenever circumstances require some one to talk without knowing what he is talking about. Thus the production of bullshit is stimulated whenever a person’s obligations to speak about some topic exceed his knowledge of the facts that are relevant to that topic__” Ok, I should stop here. The guy was full of bullshit. I guessed that was why he sold his bullshit to people. You remembered his name, Harry G. Frankfurt. The book’s name was bullshit. Hello, Mr. Frankfurt, selling “Bullshit” was so bullshit. But I was glad for the fact you bullshit people to get the book published. It was so bullshit. You had such a bullshit’s gift. I hoped you were happy with it because I did not. I made myself into such bullshit. Why victimize myself? Fucked it, I could not take it anymore. I was fucking blaming bullshit for bullshit reason with such a fucking bullshit attitude. I was fucking doing nothing but bullshitting. Ya mother fucker, fuckin bullshit, what bullshit ^&$%$# would I make? Nothing, the answer was nothing. I did this bullshit for bullshitting reason but it was the only bullshit I knew. I just wanted to put a bullet into my fucking head. Helped me, somebody helped me. I was so desperate. I was so tired. I just wanted to die. Why wouldn’t end my fucking life right here, right now? Why? I was a pussy. That was it.

[NguoiVN]

Sometimes in this world one of the hardest thing to realize is you cannot trust anybody. I lost my faith in the good, in people. All I see is jealousy, evil wearing innocent face. We chase fame, money or satisfaction, what human being is crazy about. The best thing that has happened for us is children. When you play with kids, kids don’t lie. You truly trust them and you can see how they trust you in their eyes. For a moment you are free from all the awareness, all that have imprisoned us for years. How we act? How we react? How we think? You just don’t care. You don’t care how you talk or why you do this or why you do that. Playing with kids, watching them holding your hands, you feel the innocence. Such a treasure time to be free to taste the world with a heart full of passion and enthusiasm, a time you once had but lost. So would you please do not teach kids the answer? Sometimes, it is just purely beautiful living without any answer. There is no tomorrow but only the present which we care the most. Let the hundred percentage of yourself be in the game, in what ever you are enjoy doing now. I know I don’t need to have everything and I don’t need to know everything in order to be happy. You may know that too. But I can’t feel that. And maybe you don’t. In the summer of 2005 I decided again to committee a hundred percentage of myself to live and to achieve. Again, “to live and to achieve what” I asked myself? Don’t you ever have doubt? I do have. I’m laying here question the unquestioned question and I feel stressful. To become an adult, I need to taste such process. Do I know how to be an adult? Again I repeated “to feel the illusion trapping us in a box, invisible box I have created for myself” and I said to myself “Hey, there is always ways, all you need to do is to find it”. Reason, it is amazing that everyone want a reason why reasoning for a reason without any reason at all. In order to maintain a kind of ability to act with certain of confidence is totally shallow. I said so without knowing so. I don’t know the why. Ok, as I am lying down on the floor closing my eyes and listening to the ceiling fan moving. I want a feeling of flowing to no where from no where. I felt a string and I hold it. I cleared my eyes and I saw it was a tale of an animal. I felt silence and I felt emptiness. Philosophy and emptiness, if philosophy cannot give me and answer, let the emptiness do the job. A long silence to moment a taste of air, to listen to myself going to sleep, I separated myself and listened to the rhythm of my sleep. I saw my body sleeping. I heard myself consciously, the sound of my sleeping.

[NguoiVN]

I’m watching my fingers. I’m watching my hands while trying to crack down some thoughts. What am I thinking right now? Hell knows. Who care for a solution? Here, the solution is. What the fuck? I’m fucking don’t understand myself. The best part is I got my own mind, my own ball. I’m testing myself hard and long. Cold, the ticking of the clock, Time is moving. I turned the light on because I start feeling afraid of the dark. What is the point of scheduling to busy myself? My head is empty but my mind is still sinking into something. I got a plan but what the plan is for? I got things that need to be sold. I need things to buy. I need to accumulate. Nickel and penny, the wealth, the meaning of life, now silence again. I feel like it is raining outside. I felt like rain is dropping into my face. This fucking place, why I am here? It is freaking me out.