Kids' Ideas About Love
Kids, aged 5 to 10, were asked questions about what they thought of love and marriage. Here's what they said.



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Love and Marriage:

"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7

"Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." -- John, age 9

"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8

"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9

"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." -- Tom, age 5

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -- Mike, 10

"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when Dinosaurs is on television." -- Jill, age 6

"One of the people has freckles, and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." -- Andrew, age 6

"My mother says to look for a man who is kind. That's what I'll do. I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -- Carolyn, age 8

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -- Kenny, age 7

"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." -- Ava, age 8

"When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced.'" -- Anita, 9

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." -- Regina, age 10

"Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than once to find a live one." -- Angie, age 10

"A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases together." -- Marlon, age 10

"[Being] single is better . . . for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd figure something out. I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing." -- Kirsten, age 10

"Love is foolish...but I still might try it sometime." -- Floyd, age 9

"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." -- Dave, age 8


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Kissing:

"When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down, and they don't get up for at least an hour." -- Wendy, age 8

"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." -- Jim, age 10

"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." -- Kally, age 9

"You learn [how to kiss] right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." -- Doug, age 7

"If it's your mother, you can kiss her anytime. But if it's a new person, you have to ask permission." -- Roger, age 6

"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That's why I stopped doing it." -- Tammy, age 10

"I know one reason kissing was created. It makes you feel warm all over, and they didn't always have electric heat or fireplaces or even stoves in their houses." -- Gina, age 8

"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." -- Curt, age 7

"The rules goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry her and have kids with her. It's the right thing to do." -- Howard, age 8

(on seeing a couple kissing) "He is trying to steal her chewing gum!" -- Boy, age 6


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Beauty:

"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." -- Anita, age 8

"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." -- Christine, age 9

"It isn't always how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything, and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." -- Brian, age 7


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How People In Love Act:

"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." -- Brad, age 8

"They act mooshy. Like puppy dogs, except puppy dogs don't wag their tails nearly as much." -- Arnold, age 10

"All of a sudden, the people get movies fever so they can sit together in the dark." -- Sherm, age 8

"Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up." -- Sarah, age 9

"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are -- on fire." -- Christine, age 9

"See if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." -- John, age 9

"Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love." -- Craig, age 9


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What Mom and Dad Have In Common:

"Both don't want no more kids." -- Lori, age 8


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How To Tell If Two People Are Married:

"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." -- Eddie, age 6

"You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." -- Derrick, age 8


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Deciding Who To Marry:

"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." -- Allan, age 10

"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." -- Kirsten, age 10


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Strategies For Making People Fall In Love With You:

"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." -- Del, age 6

"Shake your hips and hope for the best." -- Camille, age 9

"Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs...and don't worry if their parents are right there." -- Manuel, age 8

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." -- Alonzo, age 9

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." -- Bart, age 9


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The Best Age To Get Married:

"Twenty three is the best age because you know the person forever by then." -- Cam, age 10

"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married!" -- Freddie, age 6


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Good Advice About Love:

"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." -- Dick, age 7

"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." -- Lynnette, age 8

"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!" -- Ricky, age 7

"Don't forget your wife's name. That will mess up the love." -- Erin, age 8

"Sensitivity don't hurt." -- Robbie, age 8

"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." -- Erin, age 8

"Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind. Love isn't like picking what movie you want to watch." -- Natalie, age 9


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What To Do When a First Date Turns Sour:

"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." -- Craig, age 9


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What Most People Are Thinking When They Say "I Love You":

"The person is thinking: 'Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day.'" -- Michelle, age 9

"Some lovers might be real nervous, so they are glad that they finally got it out and said it, and now they can go eat." -- Dick, age 7


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Why People In Love Often Hold Hands:

"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off, because they paid good money for them." -- Gavin, age 8

"They are just practicing for when they might have to walk down the aisle someday and do the holy matchimony thing." -- John, age 9


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Titles of Love Ballads You Can Sing To Your Loved One:

"'I Love Hamburgers, I Like You!'" -- Eddie, age 6

"'You Are My Darling Even Though You Also Know My Sister.'" -- Larry, age 8

"'I Am In Love With You Most of the Time, But Don't Bother Me When I'm With My Friends.'" -- Bob, age 9

"'How Do I Love Thee When You're Always Picking Your Nose?'" -- Arnold, age 10

"'Honey, I Got Your Curly Hair and Your Nintendo On My Mind.'" -- Sharon, age 9

"'Hey, Baby, I Don't Like Girls, But I'm Willing To Forget You Are One!'" -- Will, age 7


Kids' Ideas About Science
Most of these quotations were gleaned from classroom discussions in 5th and 6th grade science classes.



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"One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second."

"You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind."

"Talc is found on rocks and on babies."

"Isn't inertia when something is moving, then it stops moving and keeps moving?"

"The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down."

"When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions."

"When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting."

"Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand."

"While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating."

"Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction."

"South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage."

"Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south."

"A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go."

"There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever."

"There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days."

"Lime is a green-tasting rock."

"Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils, while others preferred to be oil."

"Genetics explain why you look like your father, and if you don't why you should."

"Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there."

"Some oxygen molecules help fires burn, while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother."

"Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers."

"We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on."

"To most people, solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists, solutions are things that are still all mixed up."

"In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's."

"Clouds are high flying fogs."

"I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing."

"Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do."

"Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does."

"Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water."

"We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe."

"Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail."

"Rain is saved up in cloud banks."

"In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes."

"Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man."

"The wind is like the air, only pushier."

"A blizzard is when it snows sideways."

"A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size."

"A monsoon is a French gentleman."

"Thunder is a rich source of loudness."

"Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound."

"It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places."

"Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime."


Exams and Papers
The following are quotes from exams and papers assigned to 7th through 12th students and, for the music section, college students. They were supplied by teachers across the nation.



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Science:

"When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."

"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."

"To collect fumes of suphur, hold on a deacon over a flame in a test tube."

"When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."

"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state."

"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."

"The largest organ in the human body is the head."

"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, then expectoration."

"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."

"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."

"The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects."

"Germinate means to become a naturalized German."

"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off."

"A planet is a body of Earth surrounded by sky."

"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."

"To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in."

"The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation."

"The earth makes a resolution every 24 hours."

"Algebracial symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about."

"We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and the study of rocks."

"The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now."

"English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse."

"People shouldn't be allowed to shoot extinct animals."

"Humans are more intelligent than beasts because human branes have more convulsions."

"If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence."

"A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle."



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Medicine:

"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."

"For head cold: Use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."

"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."

"For fractures: To see if the limb is broken, giggle it gently back and forth."

"For dust in the eye: Pull the eye down over the nose."

"Blood flows down one leg and back the other."

"When you haven't enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier."

"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."

"Many women believe that an alcoholic beverage will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception."

"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cupids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."



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Geography:

"Rhode." -- An answer given to the question, "What is the only island state?"



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History:

"The Magna Carta provided that no free men should be hanged twice for the same offense."

"Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head."

"Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes."

"The system involving barons and lords was called the futile system."

"Milton wrote 'Paradise Lost.' Then his wife dies, and he wrote 'Paradise Regained.'"

"Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe."

"The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died, and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this."

"Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead."

"Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms."

"Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel."

"Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English."

"Bach died from 1750 to the present."

"Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He expired in 1827 and later died for this."

"[Napoleon] wanted an heir to inheret his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't bear him any children."

"The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West."

"Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years."

"Queen Victoria's reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality."

"Queen Victoria's death was the final event which ended her reign."

"Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis."

"Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Spices."

"It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance."

"Without Greeks, we wouldn't have history."

"One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable."

"Homer also wrote The Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey."

"Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of the same name."

"In the Olympics Games, Greeks ran races jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java."

"The government of Athen was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands."

"When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men."

"Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks."

"The Whiskey Rebellion was when some people got smashed and went and rebelled."



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The Bible

"In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off."

"Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree."

"Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark."

"Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears."

"Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night."

"Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah."

"Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients."

"The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert."

"Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments."

"The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple."

"The Fifth Commandment is 'Humor thy father and mother.'"

"The Seventh Commandment is 'Thou shalt not admit adultery.'"

"Moses died before he ever reached Canada."

"Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol."

"The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him."

"David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar."

"David fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times."

"Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines."

"The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels."

"The epistles were the wives of the apostles."

"St. Paul cavorted to Christianity."

"Paul preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage."

"In some religions a man can have many wives, and this is called polygamy. In our religion a man can have one wife, and this is called monotony."



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Literature

"Romeo and Juliet were a romantic couplet."



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Music

"The piano finishes off the piece."

"[Beethoven] went death but still kept on writing and producing music. He wrote one more symphony after his death."

"Smetana suffered the same fate as Beethoven and went death."

"The computer-generated sounds came in with a screeching nose."

"It was the most fun self-culturing experience I have endured."

"Shania Twain, Janet Jackson, Michael Jackson." -- A student naming "three female vocal ranges, from low to high."

"Claude Debussy weekend the tonality."

"The piece continues on with shirt notes."

"[I was] uninterested in leaving before I could here more."

"The cello and harpsichord were playing in a very fast beast."

"Now tuba, Trump bone, and French horn play..."

"I enjoyed the song immensely and was pretty."

"It was fun to recognize the Rhonda format and predict what forms would be coming up next."

"It started out with all the instruments giving out a welcoming horning."

"[It] ends with all of them playing a short long note."

"The movement ends with a final foul note."

"The trumpets play tonged notes."

"I really like how they would sometimes hold their beat and jump to the other."

"[The group played] the Second Suite in F by Gustav Hoist."

"The third movement was a lower pitched, the flute as if it represented one person and the orchestra a few others, the harsh tones and the melancholy feeling that felt as the orchestra with its brass section the cymbals and the strings all expressed a very angry and vengeful melody."

"When the tempo got fast it got me in an exiting mood."

"[Meter is] how many beats may be heard before one is stressed."

"The melody was plaid for the most part."

"This piece got my attention from begging to end."

"The horn blowed the piano."

"Robert Schumann wanted to become a virtuoso but became a composer because of a disabling finger."

"The orchestra sounds like they [are] not worming up yet."

Vui cùng bé :crazying:

Tình yêu là gì?

* Hãy xem bé định nghĩa thế nào về tình yêu nhé!

+ Tình yêu là khi mẹ cho ba thật nhiều đồ ăn và pha cà – phê cho ba mỗi sáng.

+ Đó là khi chú chó con dễ thương liếm mặt bé, dù bé không thèm “nựng” nó suốt cả ngày.

+ Chị cho bé tất cả đồ chơi và quần áo cũ. Hẳn là chị yêu bé lắm!

+ Đó là hôn thật nhiều, như mẹ hôn bé vậy. :crazying:

Đọc cái này nhớ ai đó (hình như thầy Chit) từng bắt bẻ Milou: cái MUÔI, không phải cái MÔI.

Những Mẩu Chuyện Của "Thế Hệ Ba Rọi" NGUYÊN PHƯƠNG . Việt Báo Thứ Bảy, 3/10/2007, 12:02:00 AM
*
Tác giả Nguyên Phương đã góp một số bài viết đặc biệt. Sau đây là bài viết mới của bà. “Ba rọi” là tiếng chỉ miếng thịt heo nửa nạc nửa mỡ.
*
Thế là mẹ tôi sang Mỹ đã được ba năm, Mẹ quen dần với những tiếng nói ngọng ngịu của các cháu.

Sau giờ học trước khi đi ngủ, các cháu thường quấn quýt quanh bà, ôm bà, sờ lên khỏang thịt mềm mềm nơi cánh tay bà.

Tôi thường bắt các con phải nói chuyện với bà bằng tiếng Việt. Những ngày đầu rất khó khăn cho các cháu.

Một ngày trong bữa cơm tối mẹ tôi cười cười:
- Con này hôm nay cu Tý nói với mẹ "bà ơi cháu muốn uống bẩy lên", mẹ bảo chờ con về mẹ hỏi xem.

Tôi phì cười, vì bắt các cháu nói tiếng Việt nên không hiểu ai đã dịch cho cháu 7up là 7 lên.

Mấy chị em nặn óc ra để dịch cho được những danh từ từ tiếng Mỹ sang tiếng Việt.
- Bà ơi mẹ bảo bà mặc giầy đi rồi đi chơi.
- Bà ơi cởi chuối cho cháu.
- Bà ơi mẹ muốn bà.
. . .
Đang ngồi trong phòng với những mớ hóa đơn phải thanh tóan cho tháng này, nghe bé Ly gọi thất thanh:
- Mẹ ơi!

Tôi vội chạy ra bếp, Ly kéo tay tôi xềnh xệch:
- Mẹ ơi bà muốn my lip.
- Cháu làm sao vậy con?

Thì ra hai bà cháu đang bất đồng ngôn ngữ. Bà thấy cháu đứng gần chỗ để đũa bà nhờ:
- Bé Ly lấy cho bà cái môi (bà nói tiếng Bắc, tiếng Nam là cái giá).

Tôi phải cầm cái môi giơ lên giải thích cho con:
- Bà muốn con lấy cái này cho bà đó.

Cô bé ngớ mặt ra không hiểu .

Một lần tôi đưa 4 bà cháu đi shopping, tôi dặn hai cô con gái:
- Đứng chờ mẹ ở chỗ salon Mẹ đưa bà đi xem quần áo một chút, 30 phút mẹ quay lại.
- Vâng.

Đến khi tôi quay lại không thấy hai cháu đâu cả, chờ thêm 15 phút vân không thấy bóng dáng cháu, tôi bắt đầu sốt ruột đi tới đi lui.
- Bà đứng đây chờ, con đi tìm xem các cháu đâu.

Tôi đi vòng ra ngoài tiệm tìm thì thấy hai cháu đang chờ tôi ở ngòai hành lang
- Sao mẹ dặn con chờ mẹ ở chỗ salon mà sao con ra đây ngồi?
- Thì đây ở trước cửa một beauty salon mà mẹ.

Tôi chợt hiểu, khi tôi nói salon là chỗ bán bàn ghế nhưng các cháu lại hiểu khác.

Mùa xuân đến, những nụ hoa vừa hé, cây đâm chồi nẩy lộc, mẹ tôi vui lắm với những đọt lá non của đám rau của mẹ, mẹ chăm sóc những cây húng quế, mẹ nâng niu cây bạc hà, những cây ớt chỉ thiên nhỏ xíu mẹ tôi chỉ để trong chậu và để trong nhà chăm chút từng tí như những cây cảnh của mẹ.

Một lần mẹ đi Washington state thăm các cháu nội, trươc khi đi bà có dặn bé Ly tưới cây cho bà khi mẹ tôi trở về thì cây ớt quí của mẹ đã... héo sầu và gần chết.
- Sao cháu ở nhà không chăm sóc cây cho bà?
- Có chứ ạ, mỗi ngày Ly mỗi tưới và hôm nọ Ly thấy có nhiều trái mẹ đã hái vài trái nhưng rồi không hiểu sao nó lại gần chết.
- Cháu tưới thế nào ?
- Cháu đổ nước vào.
- Hèn gì nó không chết, bà phải phun nước cho nó chứ không phải đổ nước vào và chắc mẹ cháu hái trái không dùng kéo cắt mà bẻ nó nên cây nó đau và chết.

Tôi không hiểu có phải vì mẹ tôi quá nhẹ nhàng với cái cây nên nó đã thành "cây hư tại bà" không.

. . .

Tôi vừa về đến nhà, thấy mẹ tôi với vẻ băn khoăn ra hỏi:
- Sao hôm nay hai cháu không đi học vậy con?
- Dạ hai cháu nghỉ một tuần trước khi vào mùa xuân.
- ừ, mẹ có hỏi thì các cháu nói cái gì mà "xuân vỡ" mẹ không hiểu.
. . .
Một lần mẹ tôi ra sân rồi quên nên khóa cửa vào nhà lại, mẹ bị nhốt ở ngòai garage, Hai cháu đi học về Ly vội lấy chìa khóa mở cửa cho ba bà cháu vào nhà bé Ly cởi đôi găng tay ra đưa cho bà:
- Bà mặc bao tay vào đi.

Bé Tú chạy vào lấy ra gói bánh.
- Bà đói không bà ăn bánh nhé.

Bà rơi nước mắt ôm hai cháu vào lòng.
. . .
Hôm nay chủ nhật bé Tú thấy tôi hơi rảnh cháu lại ngồi cạnh thỏ thẻ.
- Mẹ ơi, Tý không chịu đáng răng mai mốt răng thành đen giống răng bà phải không mẹ?
- Không phải đâu con, Tý không đánh răng thì Tý sẽ bị sâu răng, sẽ bị đau răng không phải như răng bà.

Tôi ôm bé Tú vào lòng giảng cho con nghe:
- Thời của bà, ai cũng phải nhuộm răng đen.
- Nhuộm, giống như nguời ta nhuộm tóc hả mẹ?

Đôi mắt bé Tú mở to, tròn xoe trông rất là đáng yêu.
- Đúng vậy con ạ. Lúc đó chưa có thuốc đánh răng nên người ta nhuộm răng đen và ăn trầu cho chắc răng.
- Ăn trầu là ăn cái lá gì rồi nhổ ra nó đỏ đỏ giống như bà nội ăn hồi đó phải không mẹ. Sao bây giờ bà nội hết ăn rồi hả mẹ?
- Vì các cô chú đã muốn bà cạo răng trắng nên bà sợ ăn trầu làm bẩn răng, cô chú đã mua sewing gum cho bà ăn thay thế.

Bé Tú hay để ý và luôn hỏi tôi những gì cháu thấy lạ.
. . .
Bé Ly cầm tờ giấy trắng chạy lại tôi.
- Mẹ ơi chỉ con làm family tree nhé mẹ.

Sau khi kể tên ông bà nội ngọai của cháu, đến anh chị em họ, cháu bắt đầu mỏi tay, cháu hẹn đến hôm sau làm nốt bên phía bố cháu.
- Sao họ mẹ nhiếu người thế, tụi bạn con không nhiều như vậy đâu, mới bên mẹ mà cousins của con đã 15 người rồi, còn bên bố ngày mai nữa làm sao con nhớ hết.
- Thế hệ của bà trung bình là có 6 người con, có người có tới 15 người con, trước khi đi ngủ họ phải đếm xem có đủ các con lên giường chưa.
- !!!!!!!

Trong bữa ăn, bé Tú chợt nhớ đến cô bạn Việt Nam cùng lớp mà cháu mới quen:
- Mẹ ơi, Mai (bạn cháu tên là Mỹ) hỏi con có biết ăn trái saw rim ... mùi ghê lắm không
- Mẹ không biết con nói trái gì?
- Con không nhớ rõ tên gì nghe như saw rim.
- Á trái sầu riêng, mẹ không biết ăn đâu, nên mẹ chưa bao giờ mua cho con ăn cả. thế bạn con có biết ăn không?
- Mai cũng không biết ăn.
- Trái này có một mùi khó ngửi lúc ban đầu, nhưng nếu con cứ tập ăn, thì về sau sẽ không còn thấy mùi đó khó ngửi nữa, và khi con đã biết ăn rồi thì con sẽ trở thành ghiền, ngày mẹ còn ở Việt Nam mẹ có biết một cô trong sở mẹ, khi Việt Cộng vào rồi cô hết tiền, cô đã bán đi một chiếc áo dài để mua một trái sầu riêng về cho cả nhà ăn.
*
- Mẹ ơi Mẹ ở miền nam hay miền bắc của nước Việt Nam?
- Mẹ ra đời ở miền Bắc nhưng lớn lên ở miền Nam.
- Và già ở bên Mỹ hả mẹ?

Tôi cười và gật đầu.
- Khi nào mẹ về thăm Việt Nam con có muốn đi với mẹ không?
- Con muốn lắm, nhưng con không nói rành tiếng Việt những cousins của con có hiểu con không?
- Giữa tình gia đình, huyết thống sẽ có sự cảm thông, con cứ về, mẹ sẽ chỉ cho con nơi mẹ sinh ra và lớn lên, ngôi trường trung học thân yêu cho 7 năm cắp sách đến trường của mẹ, ngôi trường đại học của một thời mơ mộng của mẹ, mẹ sẽ đưa con đi trên những con đường me lá rụng, trên những nơi bố mẹ đã từng đi qua trong những ngày tháng yêu nhau, mẹ sẽ tìm lại cho mẹ những kỷ niệm ngày xưa và mẹ sẽ chỉ cho con một nơi gọi là quê hương của mẹ, là nguồn gốc của con.

Trong một khỏanh khắc tôi đã nói như trong cơn mê, không còn chú ý đến sự ngơ ngác của con, tôi đã nói trong một sự dạt dào tưởng nhớ về quê hương, về một nơi, một thuở mà mình không sao quên.

NGUYÊN PHƯƠNG (@click here)

Thằng cháu ba tuổi nhà em:

Mẹ ơi nhìn kìa chú công an nó đang thổi còi...!

Mẹ ơi hôm nay lớp con có cô giáo mới, nó tên là cô Mai.

Chiều nay, vẫn nạn thiếu, nên mất điện, đành về cho Tom đi chơi. Lên chỗ quen thuộc là tượng đài vua Lý Thái Tổ. Trẻ con chỉ:
- Mẹ ơi, ai đấy?
- Vua đấy!
- Ai cơ?
- Vua, vua Lý Thái Tổ.
- Ông đứng đấy làm gì đấy hả mẹ?
- Ông đứng hóng gió... cho mát.

Chiều rảnh chả biết làm gì, rủ ông anh đi kiếm mấy ly bia. Mát ruột, hả hê.
Hai anh em quên không để ý tới con bé con ông anh hồi nãy đòi theo. Ông anh giật mình kêu chén soup cho nàng công chúa 4 tuổi rưỡi. Công chúa giận không ăn uống gì. Ông anh cuống quýt hỏi sao thế? sao thế?
Công chúa: " Sao thế cái gì? Hai đứa lớn cứ lo uống bia không đứa nào chơi với HP hết! Nghỉ chơi hai đứa ra luôn."
Ông anh : - Hai đứa nào?
Công chúa: - Ba với dượng út đó!